Project Description

BEFORE MY EYES

The debut album, produced by Konrad Pluta, recorded at Area 52 in Halifax, released 2003.
Includes the songs Beauty, My God’s Better than Your God, and the hidden track Everybody’s Dead.

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ALBUM SELECTIONS:

ALBUM LYRICS:

Now you know that it’s killing me
To watch you say goodbye with tear stained eyes
You say this is how it’s gotta be
But I can’t understand when you won’t tell me why

And I know
That you say everything is fine
And I know
We both need a little time

But there’s something hiding behind your eyes
That I don’t think you realize
See there’s just one thing
I still want to know

Do you miss me?
If you lost yourself in a moment’s rush
Would you kiss me?
Do you still long to feel my touch
The way I do for yours?

Then open up the door and let me in
I long to see the moonlight on your hair
And your soul bared again
Before my Eyes

And I know life’s not easy
And love’s not something written down in stone
But when I held you close to me
Well it just seemed we had so much more to go

And I know
You say we’ve been through it all before
But I know
This is still worth fighting for

So before I’m gonna let you go
There’s just one thing I’ve gotta know
You see you’ve told me almost everything
But still I’m left here wondering
See there’s just one thing
I still want to know

Do you miss me?
If you lost yourself in a moment’s rush
Would you kiss me?
Do you still long to feel my touch
The way I do for yours?

Then open up the door and let me in
I long to see the moonlight on your hair
And your soul bared again
Your Soul bared again
Yes your Soul bared again
Before My Eyes

Lying in bed there’s nothing I can do
But toss and turn and think about you
And how one kiss always turns to two
Or walking these tourist streets without a care
As the sun shines off your beautiful blond hair
Sure it’s brown underneath but I don’t care
One touch from your hand
I fee like I’m twelve years old again
Where would I be what would I do
No I’ve never seen a sky so blue
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
Oh and you take me off to places where I’ve never been before
What with Moonlit walks or midnight talks or
Suzanne’s fabled shore and I
Don’t know where we’re going but I hope it stays the same
Just laughin’ lovin, livin’ for the day
And that’s okay
And you make me tea and we turn the lights down low
And you tell me things I may not want to know
But you’ll always be pure as falling snow
And you make me crazy and you make me feel so strange
Like Jack said you make me want to change
And I don’t care if my life’s been rearranged
 One touch from your hand
I fee like I’m twelve years old again
Where would I be what would I do
No I’ve never seen a sky so blue
When I’m with you
When I’m with you

Now I’ve been thinking
About the things you said
And they all seemed so damn pretty
When I lined them up inside my head

Seems you had so many problems of late
And you needed some time off to get things straight
And when you said it’s not you it’s me
It was something that I actually believed

So when I left you
On that fateful day
All I could do was feel sorry for you
And hope that you would be okay

See I would offer you my help
But you needed to do this by yourself
So I just gave you your time
Hoping someday you’d come back and be mine

So can you blame me for this state I’m in
When I find the whole time
You were with him?

Now how can I believe anything is true
When you say one thing and you do:
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody ESL—

I’m not too good at language
But when I called you late the other night
You know I still seemed to manage
Despite the booze everything seemed to come out right

And though I know that I said some things
(Slut bitch whore)
That maybe should have just been left unsaid
Still it’s fair since I’ve been wondering

How you tell that you care for me
Somehow I thought that you’d be there for me
Can you blame a guy for going a little insane
When you take his whole world and throw it down the drain

Now how can I believe anything is true
When you say one thing and you do
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody EMS—

Someone get me a bandage
‘Cause I feel like I’ll be torn in two
‘Cause while my brains on a rampage
My heart is saying it’s still in love with you

And I remember once when your love went dark
You took me to our moonlit park
You said you’d like to try again

And though I know you only wanted make up sex
Still I know I’d take you back
Maybe from the self-respect I lack
If you stabbed me in the heart
Then I’d give you a knife, and say
Do it again!  Come on and do it again!
I love you!
I hate you!
I hate you ‘cause I love you, yeah!

And I think I’m ready to be friends
Can’t you tell I’m ready to be friends
My wounds have all healed
I’m sane for real
I’m ready ready ready to be friends

*&*@#$#&*%%&*!

And when I see you
You say you’re doing well
And I know that I should be happy for you
But all I can think is
Go to hell

You see it simply isn’t fair
For me to put up with this shit when you don’t care
And I know you’re only nice to me
So it won’t affect your precious popularity
Still if you want to apologize
You’ll find I’m quite a forgiving guy

If you walk through the desert on your hands and knees
Call me every day just begging me please
To forgive me for the shit that you put me through
And even though I deserve better than you
That I should take you back
That you make a mistake
That your smile only hides all your
Tears and heartache
And that you’ll love me forever
‘Til the day that you die
But how’m I gonna know that it isn’t it a lie

‘Cause how can I believe anything is true
When you say one thing and you screw
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody
E L S E
Somebody else

You looked so beautiful when I saw you last night
Worst thing was:
You knew it
From the girls you could feel their glare
But from the boys that lustful stare
Still you pretended you never noticed

And oh the power that you felt
You knew you could have anyone you wanted
Anytime you felt

But what you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
What mask are you gonna hide behind
What you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
How many friends are you gonna find
Are you gonna find

And when you see me you’ll come over and ask me how I’ve been
‘Til then you notice I’m not on your side
And you can try everything in your power just to win
But so many wrongs they won’t make it right

And I know it’s terrible but it’s true
This is the only way
We can get through to you

What you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
Who’s gonna dry your pretty eyes
What you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
Who’s gonna hold you when you cry

What you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
What mask are you gonna hide behind
What you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
How many friends are you gonna find
Are you gonna find?

Ben
He’s just a guy
He sings real high
Still he’s just a guy

You
You’re my girlfriend
I called to see if you were busy
For the weekend

Then
You asked if I’d mind:

If Ben took you away
To the mountains for the day
So you could go and play
Out in the sun

What’s Ben got?
Besides singing like his balls are cut off?
I know I sing low
I still love you so
I still love you so

Now I
Don’t want to make you cry
But if you go out with Ben
I’ll have to say goodbye

But there’s one thing
That I haven’t tried
And I just might give it a chance
Before I die

See there’s
This doctor guy

He could give me an operation
It’s a simple amputation
I never wanted children
Anyway

All the girls will sigh
When I’m singin’ oh so high
And you’ll thank God above
When you find it’s me that you love
It’s me you love

Now Ben
He’s not doing so hot
He hasn’t said a word for days
Seems his voice is shot

The Doc says
It’s due to vocal strife
Looks like he’ll be singing bass
For his whole life

Now you
Have got a choice

You can stick with a guy who’s frazzled
Who’s chords are soundin’ scrambled
Or come back home with me
Where you belong

Don’t be alone
Come on and take this baritone home
I may not sing high
But I’m a really nice guy
So pick up the phone
And make this baritone
Your own

Now I used to think life was so pretty
So many colours burning bright
But then thank the lord I finally met you
And you showed me you were right

See you lifted me up upon your shoulders
But I couldn’t see from such a height
No it wasn’t until you finally dropped me
That I think I finally saw the light

Now I want to thank you for teaching me that people are shit
(Teaching me people are shit)
There’s some people out there, they don’t care one bit
(Some people don’t care one bit)
And if ever you find yourself needing a helping hand
I won’t be there
(I won’t be there)
You taught me well

And you may find it odd that I should thank you
For leaving me as such a wreck
But you showed me just what life had to offer
Yeah you showed me just what I could expect

Now I want to thank you for teaching me that people are shit
(Teaching me people are shit)
There’s some people out there, they don’t care one bit
(Some people don’t care one bit)
And if ever you find yourself needing a helping hand
I won’t be there
(I won’t be there)
You taught me well

And it’s crazy how you
Go around turning all the people’s smiles into frowns
Did somebody hurt you
Who was it desert you
To make you have to bring me down?

Oh thank you for teaching me that people are shit
(People are shit)
There’s some people out there, they don’t care one bit
(Some people don’t care one bit)
And if ever you find yourself needing a helping hand
I won’t be there
(I won’t be there)
You taught me well

I used to lie awake in bed at night
Just thinking about you holding me tight
And all the kind and lovely words you’d said
And if the phone would ring I’d pray it was you
You were there in everything that’d I’d do
The future seemed so bright for us ahead
So many things got left behind
My family, friends, sometimes my mind
Which makes it oh so strange when
Now I finally find
That I don’t know why
But I feel so fine
Being back to myself again
So many times
I didn’t think
I’d make it on my own
And sure there may be a song or two
That reminds me of you
It’s all right, between us
I’m doing fine
Now on the day you left I cried and cried
Somehow I thought that I might die
Without you there how could I make it through
But the morning came and I woke up
Alone but it wasn’t quite that rough
And with each new day I found I didn’t need you
So my life went on and on
I made new friends I wrote this song
And finally realized I could make it all along
That I don’t know why
But I feel so fine
Being back to myself again
So many times
I didn’t think
I’d make it on my own
And sure there may be a song or two
That reminds me of you
It’s all right, between us
I’m doing fine
You got a crazy way about you
You think the world revolves around you
Well I can’t blame you ’cause I thought so too
Looks like I finally learned the truth
That I don’t know why
But I feel so fine
Being back to myself again
So many times
I didn’t think
I’d make it on my own
And sure there may be a song or two
That reminds me of you
It’s all right, between us
I’m doing fine

My God is better than your God
My God could kick your God’s ass
My God wouldn’t want to share

This place this holy space
Where someone once saw heaven’s gates
And in a moment of God’s grace
Felt understanding peace and love
So get the hell off of it, you Goddamn Motherfucker!

‘Cause my God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

And my God’s Mom is still a virgin
Your God’s mom always did get around
My God says even though you’re a savage

I should help you see the light
And show you that my way is right
And lead you to that
Bright and everlasting place
And if you don’t convert, we’ll exterminate your race!

‘Cause my God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

My God doesn’t like the clothes you’re wearing
My God says foreskins are passé
My God says that everything’s for sharing
Just keep out of his chosen people’s way
Or we’ll unleash God’s fury!

Your God is one of thousands
My God’s better ‘cause he’s split into three
That guy says that there’s only one God

Who loves us all the same
He just uses different names
And all he wants is us to love each other as he would do
And that’s the only guy that I hate more than you!
‘Cause my God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

From the Hindus

My God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

From the Jews

My God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

Ukrainian Orthodox

My God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

From the Atheists!

…………..
…………..

My God’s better than your God yeah,
My God’s better,
So damn better,
My God’s better than yours!

What can you say?
When the smoke has all cleared
When our promises made
Have all melted away?

What can you do
When we look at ourselves
And the tattered remains
Of that love that we made

Just don’t turn away

Tell me there’s more to living this life
Then loving and turning away
Won’t you just give me something
So I can get by
And tell me, c’mon tell me

Tell me that you’ll still be there at the end of the day

Where did you go?
When I needed you most
When I reached out for you
You were so far away

You were lost in yourself
As I scrambled to find
Some trace left behind
Of that love that we made

When you turned away

Now I believe all the stories I’ve read
Of lovers who just turned away
And this heart won’t be mended
With needle and thread
If you’d tell me, c’mon tell me

Tell me that you’ll still be there at the end of the day

I used to think endings could still be beginnings
And no matter what there would always be a time for forgiving
But these dirty wounds they don’t heal quite the same
And when I hear thunder I walk in the rain
Just hoping that somehow I’ll wash out your memory
Your stain

The tables have turned
You look for the best
I find only the worst
Of that love that we made

The times that we had
Won’t outweigh the regret
Or the innocence lost
The price that was paid

When you turned away

Now I believe all the stories I’ve read
Of lovers who just turned away
And this heart won’t be mended
With needle and thread
If you’d tell me, c’mon tell me

Tell me that you’ll still be there…

‘Cause I would have been there for you at the end of the day

You tell me you’re tired of believing
In what you’d call this fairy tale of love
It seems the world has left you bleedin’
After giving so much how can you think you’re good enough
But you’ve made it through the hard times
And when your tears have dried I know you’ll find
You still have love inside
And I want you to know; it’s a bitter world out there
Until we find somebody who cares
And I want you to know

And I don’t have all the answers
Don’t know how to make things right again
You may never again be lovers
You may find you’re better off as friends
And I know that you’ve been hurt
And I know you’ve got your pride but I believe
There’s gotta be a softer side
And I want you to know

It’s time to stop thinking how much it hurts
Make it happen try to make it work
Take a chance and you will see
There may still be something left to believe

I know I’m tired of believing
In what we’d call this fairy tale of love
It seems the world has left me bleedin’
After giving so much how can I think I’m good enough
But I’ve made it through the hard times
And when my tears have dried I know I’ll find
I still have love inside
And I want you to know; it’s a bitter world out there
Until we find somebody who cares
And I want you to know

For when the lines that we drew for ourselves
All start to blur
And when we find that we’re not the people
We once thought we were

Then may our children grow
To be all that we would have been
To be all that we should have been
So long ago

And may our children learn
To love one another
Though we can’t love each other
Is that how it works?

For when we find that the worlds not the place
We once thought it was
Then may our children believe in that hope
That once was in us

Then may our children grow
Reading and writing and learning to be
To be all that we would have been
The people that we always hoped that we’d be
To be all that we should have been
Knowing what’s right and what’s wrong
So long ago
And being so sure

And may our children learn
Ethics and values and Christian morality
To love one another
Do unto others and love one another and—
Though we can’t love each other
Do as we say, not as we do
Is that how it works?

But when they find how the world truly is
How will they stand?
When they find the rock where they built their foundation
Is only just sand

Still let our children grow
Reading and writing and learning to be
To be all that we would have been
The people that we always hoped that we’d be
To be all that we should have been
Knowing what’s right and what’s wrong
So long ago
And being so sure

And may our children learn
Ethics and values and Christian morality
To love one another
Do unto others and love one another and—
Though we can’t love each other
Do as we say, not as we do
Is that how it works?

Mommy took the dolly ran it straight into the trolley
Now you’ll never see mommy again
Daddy took the Tram ran it straight into Gram
Now we’ll never see her again
When Daddy called the cop a Fatty that’s the last we saw of Daddy
Now we’ll never see him again
Brother took a knife to Sister was convinced that no one’d miss her
Now we’ll never see her again

Because
Everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead
Dead in the heart and dead in the head
Yes everybody’s dead

When Grandpa asked how sister died Brother took a chance and lied
That they still might see her again
Grandpa took him for a ride it was a double suicide
Now we’ll never see them again
When Suzie social worker found out that the family was a drop out
That she’d never see them again
Suzie went insane put a bullet in her brain
Now we’ll never see her again

Because
Everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead
Dead in the heart and dead in the head
Yes everybody’s dead

A little bit softer now:
Everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead
Dead in the heart and dead in the head
Yes everybody’s dead

Bring it home!

Everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead
They’re all so dead in the heart and dead in the head
Yes everybody’s—

I am dead and you are dead and some old guy named Stu is dead
Brother Sister Father Mother oops uh-oh there goes another
If you call I’m sorry but I won’t be there to answer
‘cause I’m dead!

Grant-Tilly

Ah, youth! Young love! Young love that leads to a break up that takes you to a dark place and inspires a bitter trilogy of darkly comic songs! This is no “Jagged Little Pill” and yet I found it a cathartic experience, and interspersed among Bitter Songs  #1, 2, and 3 I included some comedy songs, like Ben (the first non-musical song I ever wrote which summed up my high school jealousy of being a Baritone in a Tenors world… I was a geek!), and the song “My God’s Better than Your God” (self-explanatory). Vocal back ups by the fine folks at Grafton Street Dinner Theatre, where I was performing at the time. Further below you’ll find all the lyrics, in case you want to sing along.

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REVIEWS:

Read full reviews by clicking here!

“Tilly opens ears and eyes with songs from the folk pop album Before My Eyes from the light, lost-love track Somebody Else to the hilariously tongue-in-cheek My Gods Better Than Your God.”

MIKE BELL, CALGARY SUN

“Grant Tilly blew the roof off the Solocentric fundraiser last night”

ALLAN BOSS, CBC RADIO, IN THE KEY OF A