Before My Eyes

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Before My Eyes - Grant Tilly


Tilly’s debut 2003 album, a folk/pop album with touches of comedy, includes “The Bitter Trilogy,”
“My God’s Better Than Your God,” and “May Our Children Grow.”

BEFORE MY EYES

1.  Before my Eyes 3:43 (lyrics)
2.  Whistling Song 4:22
3.  Bitter Song #1 (Somebody Else) 4:58 (lyrics)
4.  Beauty 4:25 (lyrics)
5.  Ben 2:59 (lyrics)
6.  Bitter Song #2 (Thank you for Teaching me…) 3:15 (lyrics)
7.  Back to Myself 3:14
8.  My God’s Better than God 2:55 (lyrics)
9.  Bitter Song #3 (the end of the day) 3:37 (lyrics)
10. Tired of Believin’ 2:40 (lyrics)
11. May Our Children Grow 3:25 (lyrics)
12. Everybody’s Dead 2:27 (lyrics)


Before my Eyes  ©2003 Grant Tilly

Now you know that it’s killing me
To watch you say goodbye with tear stained eyes
You say this is how it’s gotta be
But I can’t understand when you won’t tell me why

And I know
That you say everything is fine
And I know
We both need a little time

But there’s something hiding behind your eyes
That I don’t think you realize
See there’s just one thing
I still want to know

Do you miss me?
If you lost yourself in a moment’s rush
Would you kiss me?
Do you still long to feel my touch
The way I do for yours?

Then open up the door and let me in
I long to see the moonlight on your hair
And your soul bared again
Before my Eyes

And I know life’s not easy
And love’s not something written down in stone
But when I held you close to me
Well it just seemed we had so much more to go

And I know
You say we’ve been through it all before
But I know
This is still worth fighting for

So before I’m gonna let you go
There’s just one thing I’ve gotta know
You see you’ve told me almost everything
But still I’m left here wondering
See there’s just one thing
I still want to know

Do you miss me?
If you lost yourself in a moment’s rush
Would you kiss me?
Do you still long to feel my touch
The way I do for yours?

Then open up the door and let me in
I long to see the moonlight on your hair
And your soul bared again
Your Soul bared again
Yes your Soul bared again
Before My Eyes

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Bitter Song #1 (Somebody Else)  ©2003 Grant Tilly

Now I’ve been thinking
About the things you said
And they all seemed so damn pretty
When I lined them up inside my head

Seems you had so many problems of late
And you needed some time off to get things straight
And when you said it’s not you it’s me
It was something that I actually believed

So when I left you
On that fateful day
All I could do was feel sorry for you
And hope that you would be okay

See I would offer you my help
But you needed to do this by yourself
So I just gave you your time
Hoping someday you’d come back and be mine

So can you blame me for this state I’m in
When I find the whole time
You were with him?

Now how can I believe anything is true
When you say one thing and you do:
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody ESL—

I’m not too good at language
But when I called you late the other night
You know I still seemed to manage
Despite the booze everything seemed to come out right

And though I know that I said some things
(Slut bitch whore)
That maybe should have just been left unsaid
Still it’s fair since I’ve been wondering

How you tell that you care for me
Somehow I thought that you’d be there for me
Can you blame a guy for going a little insane
When you take his whole world and throw it down the drain

Now how can I believe anything is true
When you say one thing and you do
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody EMS—

Someone get me a bandage
‘Cause I feel like I’ll be torn in two
‘Cause while my brains on a rampage
My heart is saying it’s still in love with you

And I remember once when your love went dark
You took me to our moonlit park
You said you’d like to try again

And though I know you only wanted make up sex
Still I know I’d take you back
Maybe from the self-respect I lack
If you stabbed me in the heart
Then I’d give you a knife, and say
Do it again!  Come on and do it again!
I love you!
I hate you!
I hate you ‘cause I love you, yeah!

And I think I’m ready to be friends
Can’t you tell I’m ready to be friends
My wounds have all healed
I’m sane for real
I’m ready ready ready to be friends

*&*@#$#&*%%&*!

And when I see you
You say you’re doing well
And I know that I should be happy for you
But all I can think is
Go to hell

You see it simply isn’t fair
For me to put up with this shit when you don’t care
And I know you’re only nice to me
So it won’t affect your precious popularity
Still if you want to apologize
You’ll find I’m quite a forgiving guy

If you walk through the desert on your hands and knees
Call me every day just begging me please
To forgive me for the shit that you put me through
And even though I deserve better than you
That I should take you back
That you make a mistake
That your smile only hides all your
Tears and heartache
And that you’ll love me forever
‘Til the day that you die
But how’m I gonna know that it isn’t it a lie

‘Cause how can I believe anything is true
When you say one thing and you screw
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody else
Somebody
E L S E
Somebody else

(back to top)


Beauty  ©2003 Grant Tilly

You looked so beautiful when I saw you last night
Worst thing was:
You knew it
From the girls you could feel their glare
But from the boys that lustful stare
Still you pretended you never noticed

And oh the power that you felt
You knew you could have anyone you wanted
Anytime you felt

But what you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
What mask are you gonna hide behind
What you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
How many friends are you gonna find
Are you gonna find

And when you see me you’ll come over and ask me how I’ve been
‘Til then you notice I’m not on your side
And you can try everything in your power just to win
But so many wrongs they won’t make it right

And I know it’s terrible but it’s true
This is the only way
We can get through to you

What you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
Who’s gonna dry your pretty eyes
What you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
Who’s gonna hold you when you cry

What you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
What mask are you gonna hide behind
What you gonna do when your beauty runs away from you?
How many friends are you gonna find
Are you gonna find?

(back to top)


Ben  ©2003 Grant Tilly

Ben
He’s just a guy
He sings real high
Still he’s just a guy

You
You’re my girlfriend
I called to see if you were busy
For the weekend

Then
You asked if I’d mind:

If Ben took you away
To the mountains for the day
So you could go and play
Out in the sun

What’s Ben got?
Besides singing like his balls are cut off?
I know I sing low
I still love you so
I still love you so

Now I
Don’t want to make you cry
But if you go out with Ben
I’ll have to say goodbye

But there’s one thing
That I haven’t tried
And I just might give it a chance
Before I die

See there’s
This doctor guy

He could give me an operation
It’s a simple amputation
I never wanted children
Anyway

All the girls will sigh
When I’m singin’ oh so high
And you’ll thank God above
When you find it’s me that you love
It’s me you love

Now Ben
He’s not doing so hot
He hasn’t said a word for days
Seems his voice is shot

The Doc says
It’s due to vocal strife
Looks like he’ll be singing bass
For his whole life

Now you
Have got a choice

You can stick with a guy who’s frazzled
Who’s chords are soundin’ scrambled
Or come back home with me
Where you belong

Don’t be alone
Come on and take this baritone home
I may not sing high
But I’m a really nice guy
So pick up the phone
And make this baritone
Your own

(back to top)


Bitter Song #2 (Thank you for teaching me…)  ©2003 Grant Tilly

Now I used to think life was so pretty
So many colours burning bright
But then thank the lord I finally met you
And you showed me you were right

See you lifted me up upon your shoulders
But I couldn’t see from such a height
No it wasn’t until you finally dropped me
That I think I finally saw the light

Now I want to thank you for teaching me that people are shit
(Teaching me people are shit)
There’s some people out there, they don’t care one bit
(Some people don’t care one bit)
And if ever you find yourself needing a helping hand
I won’t be there
(I won’t be there)
You taught me well

And you may find it odd that I should thank you
For leaving me as such a wreck
But you showed me just what life had to offer
Yeah you showed me just what I could expect

Now I want to thank you for teaching me that people are shit
(Teaching me people are shit)
There’s some people out there, they don’t care one bit
(Some people don’t care one bit)
And if ever you find yourself needing a helping hand
I won’t be there
(I won’t be there)
You taught me well

And it’s crazy how you
Go around turning all the people’s smiles into frowns
Did somebody hurt you
Who was it desert you
To make you have to bring me down?

Oh thank you for teaching me that people are shit
(People are shit)
There’s some people out there, they don’t care one bit
(Some people don’t care one bit)
And if ever you find yourself needing a helping hand
I won’t be there
(I won’t be there)
You taught me well

(back to top)


My God’s Better than your God  ©2003 Grant Tilly

My God is better than your God
My God could kick your God’s ass
My God wouldn’t want to share

This place this holy space
Where someone once saw heaven’s gates
And in a moment of God’s grace
Felt understanding peace and love
So get the hell off of it, you Goddamn Motherfucker!

‘Cause my God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

And my God’s Mom is still a virgin
Your God’s mom always did get around
My God says even though you’re a savage

I should help you see the light
And show you that my way is right
And lead you to that
Bright and everlasting place
And if you don’t convert, we’ll exterminate your race!

‘Cause my God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

My God doesn’t like the clothes you’re wearing
My God says foreskins are passé
My God says that everything’s for sharing
Just keep out of his chosen people’s way
Or we’ll unleash God’s fury!

Your God is one of thousands
My God’s better ‘cause he’s split into three
That guy says that there’s only one God

Who loves us all the same
He just uses different names
And all he wants is us to love each other as he would do
And that’s the only guy that I hate more than you!
‘Cause my God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

From the Hindus

My God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

From the Jews

My God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

Ukrainian Orthodox

My God’s better than your God, yeah!
My God’s better than yours!

From the Atheists!

…………..
…………..

My God’s better than your God yeah,
My God’s better,
So damn better,
My God’s better than yours!

(back to top)


Tired of Believing  ©2003 Grant Tilly

You tell me you’re tired of believing
In what you’d call this fairy tale of love
It seems the world has left you bleedin’
After giving so much how can you think you’re good enough
But you’ve made it through the hard times
And when your tears have dried I know you’ll find
You still have love inside
And I want you to know; it’s a bitter world out there
Until we find somebody who cares
And I want you to know

And I don’t have all the answers
Don’t know how to make things right again
You may never again be lovers
You may find you’re better off as friends
And I know that you’ve been hurt
And I know you’ve got your pride but I believe
There’s gotta be a softer side
And I want you to know

It’s time to stop thinking how much it hurts
Make it happen try to make it work
Take a chance and you will see
There may still be something left to believe

I know I’m  tired of believing
In what we’d call this fairy tale of love
It seems the world has left me bleedin’
After giving so much how can I think I’m good enough
But I’ve made it through the hard times
And when my tears have dried I know I’ll find
I still have love inside
And I want you to know; it’s a bitter world out there
Until we find somebody who cares
And I want you to know

(back to top)


May our Children Grow  ©2003 Grant Tilly

For when the lines that we drew for ourselves
All start to blur
And when we find that we’re not the people
We once thought we were

Then may our children grow
To be all that we would have been
To be all that we should have been
So long ago

And may our children learn
To love one another
Though we can’t love each other
Is that how it works?

For when we find that the worlds not the place
We once thought it was
Then may our children believe in that hope
That once was in us

Then may our children grow
Reading and writing and learning to be
To be all that we would have been
The people that we always hoped that we’d be
To be all that we should have been
Knowing what’s right and what’s wrong
So long ago
And being so sure

And may our children learn
Ethics and values and Christian morality
To love one another
Do unto others and love one another and—
Though we can’t love each other
Do as we say, not as we do
Is that how it works?

But when they find how the world truly is
How will they stand?
When they find the rock where they built their foundation
Is only just sand

Still let our children grow
Reading and writing and learning to be
To be all that we would have been
The people that we always hoped that we’d be
To be all that we should have been
Knowing what’s right and what’s wrong
So long ago
And being so sure

And may our children learn
Ethics and values and Christian morality
To love one another
Do unto others and love one another and—
Though we can’t love each other
Do as we say, not as we do
Is that how it works?

(back to top)


Everybody’s Dead  ©2003 Grant Tilly

Mommy took the dolly ran it straight into the trolley
Now you’ll never see mommy again
Daddy took the Tram ran it straight into Gram
Now we’ll never see her again
When Daddy called the cop a Fatty that’s the last we saw of Daddy
Now we’ll never see him again
Brother took a knife to Sister was convinced that no one’d miss her
Now we’ll never see her again

Because
Everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead
Dead in the heart and dead in the head
Yes everybody’s dead

When Grandpa asked how sister died Brother took a chance and lied
That they still might see her again
Grandpa took him for a ride it was a double suicide
Now we’ll never see them again
When Suzie social worker found out that the family was a drop out
That she’d never see them again
Suzie went insane put a bullet in her brain
Now we’ll never see her again

Because
Everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead
Dead in the heart and dead in the head
Yes everybody’s dead

A little bit softer now:
Everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead
Dead in the heart and dead in the head
Yes everybody’s dead

Bring it home!

Everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead, everybody’s dead
They’re all so dead in the heart and dead in the head
Yes everybody’s—

I am dead and you are dead and some old guy named Stu is dead
Brother Sister Father Mother oops uh-oh there goes another
If you call I’m sorry but I won’t be there to answer
‘cause I’m dead!

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